Number 31
by Andrea.Cherrypie
Summary: What if Robin had actually been No. 31, but the creators decided not to show us that truth in the finale? A Swarkles, B&R fanfic which follows the events of the real finale mixed with the events they failed to show. Script-style so beware. (Dedicated to everyone out there who felt betrayed by the finale and has been tirelessly trying to erase it from their minds).
1. AN

**WARNING: If you want to read the actual story, please go to next chapter. This is a long author's note to explain the nature of this fanfic. (Skip at your own risk!)**

* * *

><p><em>*DISCLAIMER:* I don't own How I met your Mother, or any of its subsidiaries, and I am not one of the people who work for the show either. Man, I wish I was!<em>

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** When four years ago I got into fanfiction, I made a vow that I would never write a fanfic based on a TV show. Yet here I am, breaking that rule.

I'm a book person, but How I Met Your Mother has touched me deeply, and after getting some ideas (and encouragement) from friends and just people in general, I decided to go for it but in a totally different light. Which is why I wrote a script.

_(On that note, I am aware there's a video of the cast reading the original script, but whatever)_

Things you should know about scripts:

**-Each SCENE goes like this:**** 1. INT. APARTMENT –DAY****. I believe the number indicates the number of the scene. (I've played around with mine). "INT." Refers to where the scene will be shot, either inside (INT) or outside (EXT.) The "-DAY" indicates the time, whether day or night. **

**-PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO EVERY SCENE HEADING. They explain where the scene will be shot, and also what YEAR. **

**-Whenever you see (N1) or (N2) etc . it means I will be coming back to that scene later on. They're like pivot points if you'd like. As like in the show, there will be flashbacks and flashforwards, so just be aware of that.**

**-Whenever it says "On Robin" or "On Barney" etc. It's just basically a camera reference to focus ON that character. I don't always say it but just don't be thrown off with the times that I do. **

**-"O.S" stands for "Off Screen". This means that we will hear the character's voice but we won't actually see them until later on, if that makes any sense. **

Those are the main things. When there's more, I'll warn you.

**The fanfic is finished** so I will update regularly, over the space of a few weeks. **Please don't try to get me to change anything or give me any ideas,** as everything is written out already, **but if you think you have a major change/improvement that I could make, just PM** **me** and I'll see what I can do (No promises).

Enjoy your reading!


	2. TEASER

**A/N Special thanks to my best friends Jesse and Domi for giving me the most realistic ideas ever and incessant encouragement. Also, thank you to neuralmente (on tumblr) for posting a gif that inspired this fic, AND to the most amazing B&R shipper I've met so far: ImperiumWife. None of this would have happened without you.**

* * *

><p><span>1. EXT. STREET OUTSIDE ROBIN'S APPARTMENT, NY, 2030 –NIGHT (N1)<span>

The night is dark and lonely. The streets are quiet as the day draws its final breaths. We see a very familiar, yet at the same time different apartment block. Attentive viewers will recognise it as the one from the pilot episode, but this one seems of a wealthier status. CLOSE UP on the window from the second floor, from where ROBIN suddenly pops her head out. She is imitated by her now age-worn Dalmatian and another dog. She looks down, apprehensively. On the street we see TED, holding up the famous blue French horn. He is making a declaration of love. He is posing her a question: will she take him back, after so many years? The answer comes from Robin's face, which quickly turns into a smile.

BLACK OUT.

TEASER

FADE IN:

2. INT. ROBIN'S APARTMENT, ENTRANCE –NIGHT (N1)

Knock, knock, knock. Someone is knocking on Robin Scherbatsky's door. She runs to the door, and when she opens it, we see Ted standing outside, with the horn in front of him. When he sees Robin, he throws the blue French horn on the floor and then throws himself at her. He grabs hold of her face and kisses her passionately. Everyone will think they are getting back together, but they don't know that that is something very out of the question. When Ted collides with Robin, she staggers back in surprise, and rejection. After she has regained her balance, she hastily pushes Ted away.

ROBIN

Whoa, Ted!  
>What the hell are you doing?!<p>

Ted looks confused. He can't understand why Robin is pushing him away.

TED

What do you mean? I thought we would make out to, you know, _make up_.

ROBIN

_Make_ _up_? What for? Last time I saw you  
>we were fine.<p>

Ted tries to follow her line of thought.

TED

Well, yeah, but I mean, make up after being apart for so long. You know, as a couple?

ROBIN

Wait, you thought we were getting back together?  
>After 24 years?!<p>

On Ted, who is trying to understand what she's telling him.

TED

I don't understand... you saw me. Down there, with the blue French horn! You buzzed me in!

Robin laughs, she's extremely incredulous.

ROBIN

I wasn't looking at the horn! I was just happy to see you after so long! Look, I don't have time for this right now, I need to go there (pointing at the spare bedroom) but I'll be back in a few minutes. Please just stay here.

Ted becomes angry.

TED

Are you kidding me?!

He raises his voice.

TED (CONT'D)

We haven't seen each other in four years and this is how you receive me?!

Robin starts to look concerned.

ROBIN

Ted, please lower your voice.

Ted raises his voice even more.

TED

The hell I will! What is wrong with you!-

ROBIN

Please stop...

TED (CONT'D)

Everyone knows the stupid blue French horn is my way of telling you I love you, and now you say you didn't even notice it?!

ROBIN

Ted-

TED (CONT'D)

And you just expect me to stay here whilst you go and do I don't know what on the other room?!

Robin is about to reply, but she is interrupted by someone else's voice.

GIRL (O.S)

Mommy...?

BLACK OUT.


	3. ACT 1

**A/N Thanks for all the lovely reviews :) Out of interest, Anna Graceman (aged 11) is what I imagined Ellie to look like. You can just do a Google search on her, if you'd like.**

* * *

><p><span>ACT 1<span>

1. INT. ROBIN'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM –NIGHT (N1)

Inside Robin's apartment, a little girl has just appeared. She could be between nine and twelve years old. Ted and Robin, who were arguing beforehand, immediately stop. Both of them look at the girl, who is standing on the other side of the room, wearing pink pyjamas and rubbing her eyes off of sleep. Ted looks at the newcomer with shock, incredulity and wonder. Robin, on the other hand, looks surprised but very pleased.

ROBIN

Honey...!

GIRL

Mom!

The girl runs across the run and collides in an embrace with Robin, who is awaiting her with her arms stretched open.

ROBIN

(Hugging the girl) I've missed you so much!

The girl wells up in tears.

GIRL

I've missed you too, Mom.

They both embrace for a few seconds, and Robin kisses the girl several times. It's very warm and homey. Meanwhile, Ted is staring at them in disbelief.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

(Pulling back a little) I was just about to check on you. Were you asleep, baby?

GIRL

(Nodding) I heard shouts so I woke up. I thought it was Dad.

ROBIN

Oh no, it's just your Uncle Ted.

The girl peeks shyly at Ted, whose place was being blocked by Robin.

GIRL

Hi Uncle Ted.

Ted cannot believe his eyes.

TED

Ellie?!

The girl, whose name has been revealed to be "Ellie", smiles at him.

ROBIN

Did Dad put you down to sleep?

Ellie looks back at her and nods.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

Did he tell you I would be back by the time you woke up?

ELLIE

(Nodding) uhuh, but he said you weren't coming back until tomorrow.

ROBIN

That's because you weren't meant to see me until tomorrow, you were supposed to wake up then. Come on, it's late, and we have a long day tomorrow.

Robin walks Ellie back to the spare room, which is Ellie's room.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

Did you say goodbye to your Dad?

ELLIE

Yup.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

Well, say good night to your Uncle Ted now and let's get you in bed again.

ELLIE

(Looking back at Ted) Bye Uncle Ted.

Ted is too shocked to speak.

Ellie and Robin disappear from sight. On Ted, who is trying to digest everything that's happened. He sits down on the couch and waits for Robin to come back.

A few minutes later, she does.

ROBIN

I guess the cat is out of the bag now.

TED

That's Ellie (pointing at Ellie's room),  
>the niece all of us barely get to see,<br>and whom I personally haven't seen in over four years.

Robin looks at him in embarrassment.

TED

That's Ellie, my niece, who is living with you, and for some inexplicable reason is calling you "Mom".

ROBIN

Because I am her mother.

TED

No, no you're not, her mother is Lindsey Knightley, who was Barney's "number 31" conquest of his "perfect month".

ROBIN

That's what we wanted you to think.

TED

No, because I've met Lindsey, and she is Ellie's mother. Unless, of course, this is a different Ellie we're talking about. One that resembles the real Ellie we know, and that you have kidnapped from somewhere and has nothing to do with Barney.

ROBIN

No. She's the Ellie you know. My daughter-

TED

Oh, but you see, she's Lindsey's daughter, because we saw her when she was pregnant with Ellie, and I've also met up with her a few times and we've talked about what parenting is like.

Robin sits down on the couch next to Ted.

ROBIN

Have you ever seen her with Ellie, though?

TED  
>Well, no, but that's because Ellie was always engaged in some activity or other.<p>

ROBIN

No, that's because we never allowed Ellie to be near Lindsey.

Ted thinks this over.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

Ted, please, I can explain, but you have to believe me when I say Ellie is my biological daughter.

TED

But she can't be...

ROBIN

But she is. Think about it. You've seen Lindsey. You know what she looks like. Now tell me, does she look like one of the bimbos Barney used to hook up with before we got married? Does she look like that to you?

Ted hesitates.

TED

Well...

ROBIN (CONT'D)

No she doesn't. She's plump, old, and unattractive. Barney would never in a million years have gone after her!

TED

He did go after Patrice...

ROBIN

No he didn't, remember? Patrice was just a plot device in his "Robin" play to get me to come back to my senses. Just like that, Lindsey was a plot device we used to explain to you guys where Ellie had come from. And they both worked.

TED

But-

ROBIN (CONT'D)

Lindsey is not Ellie's mother.  
>Her role in her life was something entirely different.<p>

Ted is finally overcome with frustration at what she is telling him.

TED

But we saw Lindsey pregnant...!

Robin sighs. She knew she would have to face this eventually, but was trying to avoid it as much as possible.

Meanwhile, Ted gives in, after becoming aware of how serious Robin is. He decides he will try his best to understand what's being said.

TED

So you're telling me,  
>that Lindsey is not Ellie's mother...<p>

Robin shakes her head

TED (CONT'D)  
>And that instead, <em>you<em> are Ellie's mother...

ROBIN

Yes.

TED (CONT'D)

And you kept it hidden from us for all these years?

ROBIN

I'm not proud of that. I just could never find the perfect time to tell you guys.

TED

And today was not a good day?

ROBIN

No, I'm only going to be here for tonight. Tomorrow Ellie and I are flying to Arizona, where I have to report a news story.

TED

You're taking Ellie with you?

ROBIN

Yes, she loves travelling.

TED

Okay, who is her dad and why is he allowing this.

Robin is thrown aback.

ROBIN

Barney, of course.

TED

Wait, you and Barney have a child together?

ROBIN

Yeah, we do, I thought that much was clear.

TED

Well, if it's so clear, how come he's not with you?

ROBIN

He's probably on a plane to Shanghai. He's travelling on business and had to leave tonight. We didn't want to get a baby-sitter because I was going to be here a couple of hours later anyway, and Ellie would have been asleep.

TED

You and Barney are still together?

ROBIN

Yes.

Ted falls silent for a few seconds. He's completely in shock.

TED

No! That's not possible! You guys got divorced!

Robin shushes Ted for raising his voice. She doesn't want Ellie to wake up again.

TED (CONT'D)

(Whispered shout) You're telling me all this time when I thought you were apart you were actually together!?

ROBIN

Well, I can explain that.

TED

Oh you better, and I don't want a summarised version, you hear me? I want the whole story.

She sighs.

ROBIN

It all started the night we said we got divorced, about fourteen years ago...

BLACK OUT.

END OF ACT 1


	4. ACT 2

**A/N I am keeping every that happens before May 2016 as a flashback.**

* * *

><p><span>ACT 2<span>

FADE IN:

1. INT. TED AND TRACY'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM, NY, 2016 –NIGHT (N2)

- **MAY 2016-**

The gang are hanging at Ted and Tracy's. Robin tells what happened in Argentina.

ROBIN

We got divorced.

We focus slowly on everyone's faces. Ted's, Lily's, Marshall's. They all reflect shock.

TED

I can't believe you guys got divorced without telling us! This is my mom and dad all over again. Barney, if you start brewing your own bear now and nail my prom dates, so help-

BARNEY

Years too late on one of those Teddy.

Ted looks confused.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

Guys! It's okay. This isn't a failed marriage, it's a very successful marriage that happen to only last three years.

MARSHALL

You both want this? For real?

Robin thinks to herself without answering this. There's something here that they're not sharing.

ROBIN

We do.

BARNEY

For real.

2. EXT. TED AND TRACY'S HOUSE, MAIN ENTRANCE – NIGHT (LATER) (N2)

We see Barney and Robin both standing outside in the cold. They've just left the Mosby's residence. The house door is visible behind Robin. Everything is dark except for the porch light shining down on the two gang members. CLOSE UP on Barney.

BARNEY

So... we both want this, huh?

She smiles.

ROBIN

Yeah, I guess do.

BARNEY

And you're sure you don't want to tell them?

Robin considers this for a moment...

_3. __INT. MATERNITY ROOM, HOSPITAL. –DAY (FLASHBACK)_

**_A few weeks ago._**

_Barney and Robin are inside the maternity room of a hospital._ We _see Robin wearing a gown and Barney standing right next to her wearing his usual suit. They are joined by a doctor, who stands in front of them and is delivering some news. _

_DOCTOR_

_(To Robin) You're pregnant!_

4. EXT. TED AND TRACY'S HOUSE, MAIN ENTRANCE – NIGHT (N2)

ROBIN

Yeah.

She smiles, as if overwhelmed by happiness.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

I'm sure.

5. INT. ROBIN'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM –NIGHT (N1)

TED

WHAT!?

He looks infuriated. Robin on the other hand looks ashamed.

TED (CONT'D)

Are you messing with me?

ROBIN

Nope.

TED

What, what about Argentina? I thought you guys were having problems!

ROBIN

Oh, we were. But that day when I held a stranger's baby, everything changed.

Ted looks expectantly at Robin.

TED

Well?

ROBIN

We lied about what really happened in Argentina.

_6. __INT. MEXICAN WOMAN'S HOTEL ROOM, MEXICO (2016). –DAY (FLASHBACK)_

_A random MEXICAN WOMAN unexpectedly opens the room door._

_MEXICAN WOMAN (IN SPANISH)_

_Que en el demonio estan haciendo aqui!? Su cuarto esta al otro lado!_

_SUBBED: (What the hell are you doing here, your room is on the other side)_

_We see the couple exit the room in a hurry. _

_7. __INT. B&R'S HOTEL ROOM, MEXICO – CONTINUOS (FLASHBACK)_

_Barney and Robin go back to their hotel room. _

_ROBIN_

_(laughing) Well, that was a close one, wasn't it?_

_BARNEY_

_I know right, anyone would think we were stealing that baby._

_ROBIN_

_I know!_

_BARNEY_

_Although, it's not too late for that. If you distract the mother, I take the baby and we can just run like hell._

_Robin laughs at his comment, thinking he's joking. _

_BARNEY (CONT'D)_

_Or, I go in first, take care of the mother, you take the baby and we run and start a new life together as a happy family, somewhere homey like Vermont. Or Dubai! _

_ROBIN _

_Huh?_

_BARNEY (CONT'D)_

_Technically we wouldn't even need to "run for the border" because we've already crossed it! We would have to watch out for the police, though. I've heard some horrible stories about them._

_Robin is thrown aback. In other occasions she would think he's joking, but she knows him too well to be able to recognise his mention of Vermont and Dubai as his way of telling her what he truly wants. _

_ROBIN _

_Barney, you're not sober enough to be saying stuff like this._

_BARNEY_

_I am sober! Plus we've done illegal things in the past! Don't you want to do this one too?_

_ROBIN _

_Of course not! Among all the illegal things I would do with you, this is not one of them!_

_BARNEY_

_It would only be illegal if they caught us, you know. And I'm telling you, (looking at his watch) if we go back now we could catch the woman distracted and nobody would see us._

_ROBIN_

_Barney, what the hell are you going on about?_

_BARNEY_

_Okay, okay, I'll conform to adoption._

_ROBIN_

_What the-_

_BARNEY (CONT'D)_

_However, the kid has to be a boy,_

_ROBIN _

_Barney-_

_BARNEY (CONT'D)_

_And, he has to be as awesome as me._

_ROBIN _

_Barney!_

_BARNEY_

_What? _

_ROBIN_

_First of all, adoption agencies would never let us take in a kid when we're always travelling so much; and secondly, we've been through this already! Why are you bringing it up again?_

_Barney becomes serious._

_BARNEY_

_I don't know... I guess because I really want a baby. _

_Robin knows he's telling the truth._

_ROBIN_

_You do?_

_BARNEY_

_You don't? _

_Robin is shocked by his confrontation. She takes a few seconds to reply._

_ROBIN_

_I... I can't. Not only because I physically _can't_, but also because I have my job and my career to think about. _

_BARNEY_

_It wouldn't be that bad you know. _

_ROBIN_

_We would be awful parents! I mean, sometimes I barely even get to spend time with you, now imagine how much worse that would be for a baby!_

_BARNEY_

_Well, I guess that's why I want it!_

_ROBIN_

_What?!_

_BARNEY_

_I love you Robin. And when we got married I made a vow that I would always tell you the truth. So here it is: despite the fact that I complain about your job, I do love travelling. It gives me inspiration to write new things. And yeah, sometimes it's not that great, but I still love it. However, there are times when I'm just really, really lonely. If you're shooting something, or reporting a story, I'm stuck back at the hotel, in a foreign country that I know nothing of. It's those times when I wish I had someone else to be with. You know, like a little guy, or girl, that I could take sight-seeing with me._

_Robin is really apprehensive at this point. She clearly had no idea it was like this for him. _

_BARNEY (CONT'D) _

_And how awesome would it be? If we had a boy, I could dress him up in a suit and literally teach him how to live!_

_At the mention of this, Robin is overloaded with memories from the time she found out she couldn't have kids, and she breaks down._

_BARNEY_

_Aww, c'mon, It's okay, come here._

_He draws Robin into his lap and puts his arms around her._

_BARNEY (CONT'D)_

_I'm sorry I said all that. I think I got a bit carried away._

_ROBIN_

_No, it's not that._

_BARNEY_

_Then what is it?_

_ROBIN_

_It's about what you said, about having a boy. Do you remember that brief period when I thought I was pregnant? I imagined what our kids would look like, in the future, before I found out I couldn't have any. I imaged one boy and one girl, and the boy was wearing a suit, just like you described. _

_Her voice breaks._

_ROBIN(CONT'D)_

_I guess it was just so hard to let go of them._

_She cries into his shoulder_

_ROBIN (CONT'D)_

_God, why am I so emotional today?_

_Barney soothes her for a while_

_BARNEY_

_Robin Scherbatsky, I love you with, or without kids, and that will never change. _

_ROBIN_

_Even when there's no wi-fi?_

_He laughs._

_BARNEY_

_Even when there's no wi-fi. But you're right, we wouldn't be the best parents in the world. Besides, if our baby isn't going to be 215% awesome, then I shall not want it._

_ROBIN_

_215%?_

_BARNEY_

_Yeah, 100% from you, and 115% from me. WHAT UP!_

_Robin laughs at his comment, and then rests her head on his. _

_ROBIN_

_So does the Canadian quarter give you that 15% extra over me?_

_BARNEY_

_Of course it does. We both know Canada rocks._

_She chuckles._

_ROBIN_

_I love you._

_BARNEY_

_I love you too. _

_BLACK OUT._

END OF ACT 2


	5. ACT 3

**A/N Chapter inspired by ImperiumWife's "You Still Don't See It" fic. Go check it out!**

* * *

><p><span>ACT 3<span>

FADE IN:

1. INT. ROBIN'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM –NIGHT (N1)

Robin explains the rest to Ted.

ROBIN

After that, one thing led to another, and then another, and then-

TED

Okay I got it.

ROBIN

About a week later I kept thinking I had caught a vomiting virus. Every morning I would wake up and vomit. When finally I threw up at my favourite Chinese restaurant, Barney made me go to the hospital to get it checked out. And that's how I found out I was pregnant.

Ted stares up at her in silence for a few moments.

TED

(Sarcastically) And you're telling me a doctor said you were pregnant and you just believed her, like that'something a Scherbatsky would do.

ROBIN

No, I had my moment of crisis with her.

FADE IN:

_1.__INT. MATERNITY ROOM, HOSPITAL, NY, (2016) –DAY (FLASHBACK)_

_Barney and Robin take in the news the doctor is telling them._

_DOCTOR_

_You're pregnant!_

_On Barney, whose face is serious, apprehensive and concerned. Robin, on the other hand, is silent. For a minute, her face appears to show disbelief, but then she looks at Barney and her face changes. _

_ROBIN_

_(Laughing hysterically) Yeah right! Hahaha, okay, (to Barney) good one Barney!_

_Barney looks totally unaware of what is going on. He is staring into space with a blank face._

_ROBIN (CONT'D)_

_You had me there for a minute. You know, I almost believed you! (to the doctor) It's okay Doctor, you can drop the act now._

_DOCTOR_

_I don't understand, (to Barney) did I say something wrong?_

_BARNEY  
>I'm going to be a daddy?<em>

_ROBIN_

_Seriously Barney, cut the act. You had me, and it was funny, but you have to stop now. You promised you wouldn't try to surprise me like this anymore._

_Barney is not paying attention to her. The doctor seems very confused. She looks from Robin to Barney over and over. _

_ROBIN (CONT'D)_

_(To the doctor) Hey, if you're a real doctor, can you prescribe me something for the vomiting virus I have?_

_DOCTOR_

_Excuse me? _

_ROBIN_

_Yeah, you know, some medicines, maybe? Oh wait. Ohhhh, I see, you're not a real doctor! _

_She bursts into laughter. _

_DOCTOR_

_Mrs Stinson, I don't know what you and your husband have going on here, but your "vomiting virus" can be attributed to morning sickness. It's very common, although it can happen at any time during the day._

_ROBIN_

_Huh?_

_DOCTOR_

_I ran the tests several times. Given your condition, we wanted to be sure, but now there is no doubt in my mind that you're two and a half weeks pregnant. _

_BARNEY_

_I'm going to be a daddy?_

_Robin looks sceptically at him. What the doctor is telling her appears to be sinking in._

_DOCTOR (CONT'D)_

_Look, (Opening a drawer) if you want to see it for yourself, here's a common pregnancy test (handing the test to Robin). There's a toilet just back there. We can also do an early sonogram, but I'm afraid we'll have to book you in for that. _

_Robin takes the test reluctantly. She looks from the doctor to Barney, and then back to the doctor. _

_ROBIN_

_Seriously? You're going to make me pee on this?_

_DOCTOR_

_If it will make you believe what I am saying, then yes. _

_Robin stands from the chair and walks towards the toilet._

_ROBIN_

_Barney, if there's a hidden camera somewhere in that toilet, you're going to pay for that._

_Robin disappears behind a door._

_2.__INT. HOSPITAL TOILET –CONTINUOUS (FLASHBACK)_

_CLOSE UP on Robin. She is inside the hospital toilet. She has just taken the pregnancy test. We see her seating down, holding the stick in front of her. Disbelief is spread across her face. The viewers will be asking, what does the stick say? The answer comes immediately._

_INSERT – PREGNANCY TEST STICK bearing a POSITIVE result._

_3. __INT. MATERNITY ROOM, HOSPITAL –CONTINUOUS (FLASHBACK)_

_Robin enters the maternity room where Barney and the doctor are waiting. _

_ROBIN_

_It's positive._

_Barney finally snaps out of it._

_BARNEY_

_It is?_

_Robin still doesn't trust him._

_ROBIN_

_Okay Barney, how did you fix this up?_

_Barney looks at her in deadly seriousness. _

_BARNEY_

_Robin, I didn't fix anything up. _

_ROBIN_

_(To the doctor) Did you?_

_Doctor shakes her head._

_ROBIN (CONT'D)_

_Well then, this must be some kind of mistake. I can't be pregnant. My doctor said I could never have children._

_DOCTOR_

_I guess we could call this a miracle._

_ROBIN_

_Oh no, miracles do not exist._

_DOCTOR_

_Not the religious kind? Okay, scientific statistical improbability then. It took me five hours to run all the tests several times, hence the wait._

_On Robin, who looks as if she had just seen a ghost._

_DOCTOR (CONT'D)_

_I know this is a big piece of news to bear, but I need you to remain calm. Please take a seat again, I have more to tell you._

_ROBIN_

_I'm pregnant!?_

_She wells up. Meanwhile, Barney appears to be happy with the news._

_BARNEY_

_You're going to be a mommy!_

4. INT. ROBIN'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM, (2030) –NIGHT (N1)

ROBIN

After that, I went through the five stages of acceptance.

_5.__MATERNITY ROOM, HOSPITAL, (2016) –DAY (FLASHBACK)_

2030 ROBIN (VOICE OVER)

Denial

_ROBIN_

_Oh no, no no no no no, no no no, no, no no, no no no no._

2030 ROBIN (V.O)

Anger

_ROBIN_

_(Shouting) You have to be kidding me! I was told I could never have kids, and now this? I'm gonna sue you, I will sue you all!_

2030 ROBIN (V.O)

Fear

_ROBIN_

_I'm not ready to be a mother, oh my god, I'm not ready to be a mother!_

2030 ROBIN (V.O)

Grief

_ROBIN_

_(crying uncontrollably) I'll have to say goodbye to my job, to my career, all these years for nothing._

2030 ROBIN (V.O)

And finally, acceptance

_ROBIN_

_I'm going to have a baby. (To Barney) We're going to have a baby. _

_BARNEY_

_You're going to be a mommy._

_ROBIN_

_And you're going to be a daddy._

_Both of them interchange looks. Barney smiles, and seconds later, Robin does too. The scene is soft and heart-warming. _

6. INT. ROBIN'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM, (2030) -NIGHT (N1)

On Ted.

TED

I can't believe you were pregnant and you never told us! We all promised we would be there for the big moments, Robin!

ROBIN

Well, after I finally accepted the fact that I was pregnant, the doctor sat us down and explained to us what it really meant. It was a high-risk pregnancy, I was sent to bed rest in order to protect the baby. So we decided to come up with the divorce excuse. That way you guys would think I was off travelling, and wouldn't suspect Barney for not travelling with me. Which is why...

7. EXT. TED AND TRACY'S HOUSE, MAIN ENTRANCE –NIGHT (N2)

**-MAY 2016-**

Barney has just asked Robin if she's sure she does not want to tell the gang about her pregnancy, and she has replied "yes". Now, she explains why.

ROBIN

I'm sure. If everything goes well, they're going to find out sooner or later. I want to keep this for ourselves at least until the first trimester is over. That way, even if things do go wrong, we won't have to worry them, and it will be as if nothing had happened.

BARNEY

You know? I'm proud of you.

ROBIN

What, for lying?

BARNEY

No, for handling this so well.

Robin smiles at this.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

Who would have thought. Robin Scherbatsky is ready to be a mom.

ROBIN

And, Barney Stinson is ready to be a dad.

Barney laughs.

BARNEY

I love you, Robin Stinson.

ROBIN

And I love you, Barney Scherbatsky.

BLACK OUT.

END OF ACT 3


	6. ACT 4

**A/N Fragments taken from the Time Traveller's Wife book.**

* * *

><p><span>ACT 4<span>

FADE IN:

1. INT. BARNEY'S APARTMENT, BEDROOM, JULY (2016). –NIGHT

**-JULY 2016-**

It is night-time. We see Barney and Robin peacefully sleeping on the bed. The scene is very homey, until all the peace is disrupted.

On Barney. He's sound asleep when suddenly a text goes through, and his phone gives him a loud alert. He is hastily awoken, but still appears half-asleep. He drowsily sits up on the bed and reaches for his phone. He takes it and incoherently responds to the text.

BARNEY

North Koreans...

He is about to go back to bed, until he turns to Robin and his face grows worried.

BARNEY

Robin?

He shakes her.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

Robin, wake up, c'mon!

CLOSE UP on Robin. We see her slowly coming back to consciousness.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

C'monwakeupyourebleeding!

At this, Robin bolts awake. She looks at her hands. They are covered with blood. She sits up on the bed. She quickly looks down, her whole side of the bed is covered with blood. She panics.

She looks under the covers.

ROBIN

There's so much blood...

BARNEY

Robin, everything is going to be okay

ROBIN

Why is there so much blood?

She begins to hyperventilate.

BARNEY

(reaching for his phone) It's okay, everything's gonna be fine (he dials into his phone) I'm calling an ambulance, we'll be in the hospital right away.

Robin is crying and hyperventilating at the same time. She can't think of anything but the bleeding, the pain, the baby.

Finally, she faints and collapses on the bed.

On Barney.

BARNEY

Robin?

(OPPERATOR)

911 what's your emergency?

BLACK OUT.

FADE IN:

2. INT. HOSPITAL ROOM –DAY

It is early in the morning. The window behind Barney tells us so. He and Robin are in a hospital room. We see Barney seating on a chair next to the bed, holding Robin's hand. Robin is lying on the bed, still asleep.

A few moments later, Robin begins to stir.

ROBIN

(On seeing Barney) Hey

BARNEY

Robin?

ROBIN

I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt I lost our baby.

Barney looks concerned.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

How weird is that, huh?

BARNEY

Robin...

Robin looks around and realises she's not at home.

ROBIN

Barney, what are we doing at the hospital?

Barney looks sad for her.

BARNEY

I'm so sorry Robin. After you fainted, the paramedics did everything they could. They brought you to the hospital because you had lost so much blood.

ROBIN

What?

BARNEY

Their main concern was to at least keep one of you alive.

ROBIN

One of us?

BARNEY

You had a miscarriage during the night. I'm so sorry.

Robin's voice breaks down

ROBIN

No, that's not possible, I was on bed rest, I did everything they asked. Where are the doctors? I gotta tell them the baby must still be in here somewhere. I did everything they asked, it must still be here!

She starts shouting but viewers will know she's on the verge of tears.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

DOCTOR? DOCTOR! Is anyone there?!

BARNEY

Robin...

ROBIN

It's not possible! Please say this isn't happening! They can't take my baby away from me!

Robin finally breaks down and starts sobbing.

Barney hops on the bed with her and holds her in his arms. He soothes her, as he is used to doing, but this time he is crying as well. The whole scene is very emotional and heart-breaking.

3. ROBIN'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM, (2030)- NIGHT (N1)

Ted is genuinely upset.

TED

You guys lost the baby?

Robin falls silent for a few moments. Reliving that period of her life is very painful.

ROBIN

We did.

TED

Gosh I'm so sorry. I just... I wish I could have been there, Robin! I wish I could have taken you in my arms and done everything in my power to cheer you up!

ROBIN

No, Ted! See, this is why we would have never worked; this is why I stopped telling you important stuff. You always try too hard to make sure I'm okay, but it's always overwhelming! When I found out I'd lost my baby all I wanted was to get away from everyone, and Barney understood that.

TED

What do you mean?

4. EXT. TOP OF WWNs BUILDING, AUGUST. (2016) –DAY

**-AUGUST 2016-**

Both Barney and Robin are at the top of the WWNS building. We see a table and two chairs with a bottle of wine in the middle. All around there are rose petals scattered around. The whole setting is very romantic.

BARNEY

Huh, what did I say, is it legendary or what?

Robin takes a look around but seems unmoved by the whole thing. Instead, her face looks sad.

BARNEY

C'mon Robin, you know I won't ask too much of you, but you're starting work soon and you need to cheer up for that at least. We're at your favourite spot in the city, can't you at least start now?

Robin just looks at him.

BARNEY

Please Robin! You haven't been yourself in weeks, and I know you need your space to deal with this, but sometimes being awesome does help.

ROBIN

I'm sorry.

She sighs.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

I just can't believe I had... what I wanted snatched away from me again.

BARNEY

It's not just you, you know.

ROBIN

I know. I'm sorry. Barney let's be honest, we both hate this.

BARNEY

What, (pointing at Robin and back at him) this this?

ROBIN

No. Just... this. Me being depressed, you trying to act like it's okay. Both of us trying to dodge children on the street, trying to avoid baby shops. This whole thing.

Barney looks back at her apprehensively. By his face we can tell he knows she's right.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

Barney, if I gave you an out, would you take it?

Barney considers this.

5. INT. ROBIN'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM, (2030). –NIGHT (N1)

ROBIN

We got divorced shortly after that.

On Ted's shock expression.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

I needed my space and I didn't want to hold him back. He understood that. We both knew travelling together would never feel the same, so we did what was right.

Ted doesn't know what to say.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

After that, we both tried to forget the whole thing and move on. I went off travelling with work, Barney stayed in NY and tried to get his business to take off... I was only in NY for a few times after that, one of them being Halloween.

6. EXT. APARTMENT ROOF. OCTOBER (2016) –NIGHT

**-OCTOBER 2016-**

It is a Halloween party. We see people on costumes talking and having drinks. Marshall, wearing a Captain Ahab costume, is one of them. Suddenly, Robin comes in.

ROBIN

Hey, Marshall!

MARSHALL

Robin!

Robin smiles.

MARSHALL (CONT'D)

Hey, I'm so glad you're here! It's been forever!

They embrace.

MARSHALL

Hey, where is your... where is your costume?

ROBIN

Oh, uh...

She hesitates.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

It's been a crazy week at work so... no time to go shopping. Who are you supposed to be?

MARSHALL

Okay, I wanna make it clear this is not my idea... Captain Ahab.

ROBIN

Why is it bad if it was your idea?

Lily comes in, wearing a white whale costume.

LILY

Robin! You made it!

Robin looks at her and then back at Marshall.

ROBIN

(To Marshall) White whale, got it.

She turns and hugs Lily.

LILY

Aww

ROBIN

Hi!

LILY

Hi,

When they pull apart, Robin strokes her heavily pregnant belly.

LILY (CONT'D)

Yeah I figured, people are thinking it, might as well stir them into the skid, right? Where's your costume?

ROBIN

Oh, you know I've just been so-

She is interrupted by a high pitch scream.

BARNEY (O.S)

Oh my goooood!

Barney appears next to Marshall, wearing a David Lee Roth costume, facing away from everyone.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

OWWW Marshall guess whose digits I just scored! The slutty police officer... (he turns around and sees Robin) ...'s tax attorney.

Robin is affected by Barney's behaviour but pretends she isn't.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

Hey Robin! (tearing up the paper with the digits) didn't see you there! (He throws the broken bits in the air). (He laughs frantically) hehe, hehe. (To Marshall) Saved it.

LILY

Sorry, I gotta pee. I'll be back in... (looking at her belly) an hour.

Lily leaves. Robin is left with unsaid words on her mouth. She isn't pleased about Lily leaving.

7. INT. MARSHALL AND LILY'S APARTMENT. –NIGHT (LATER)

We see Lily dressed in the white whale costume standing on the empty apartment, and Robin standing a few spaces away from her, about to leave.

LILY

Wait, are you leaving?

Robin walks towards Lily.

ROBIN

Ugh, I've got a big day tomorrow, I gotta get some sleep.

LILY

No, you can't leave! This is a big moment! We're saying goodbye to the apartment! The whole gang has to be here!

ROBIN

(sarcastically) The gang?

Lily nods.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

You know who the gang is to me, Lily?

Lily looks confused.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

Here's what the gang is: the gang is a married couple, who I never see anymore about to have their third kid.

Lily bows her head. She is getting upset.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

Is my ex-husband, hitting on slutty cops right in front of me, and is the guy I... probably should have ended up with, with the beautiful mother of his child.

Lily tries to digest everything.

LILY

Oh, so... so what. This is all just over then?

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

8. EXT. APARTMENT ROOF. –NIGHT (LATER)

Lily has just come up from the apartment downstairs. We can still see Marshall and Barney chatting with some girls.

LILY

Hey

MARSHALL

Hey! (he looks around) where's... where's Robin?

LILY

She had to go. Long day tomorrow.

This grabs Barney's attention.

MARHSALL

Oh no

LILY

I know.

MARHSALL

Hey maybe we'll... see her another day.

Lily tries to smile but her disappointment is obvious.

MARHSALL

Oh, I nearly forgot, look who I was just talking to...

Their voices fade out. CLOSE UP on Barney. He seems to be upset for a moment. He looks down at the floor and does some thinking. He looks at the fire stairs and back at the floor. Finally, he decides to move.

9. INT. MARSHALL AND LILY'S APARTMENT –NIGHT (CONTINUOUS)

We see Barney, he's just come in from the window. He appears to have been running. He scans the apartment but finds it empty.

BARNEY

Robin?

When no one answers him, he runs to the door, opens it and goes out.

10. INT. HALLWAY

We see Barney running towards the exit.

11. EXT. OUTISDE MARSHALL AND LILY'S APARTMENT –NIGHT (CONTINOUS)

We see the apartment's main entrance. Seconds later, Barney exits through it. He is panting from his run. As soon as he opens the door, he scans his surroundings.

First he looks to his left (nothing), then to his right. We see Robin getting on a cab.

BARNEY

Robin...!

Barney stretches out his hand, as if to claim Robin back, but it is too late. Robin gets on the cab and it drives off.

On Barney, who looks disappointed and mad at himself.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT 4


	7. ACT 5

**A/N Sorry for not updating before, I had a hectic Halloween. But this chapter is action-packed, though, so BEWARE and enjoy! :)**

* * *

><p><span>ACT 5<span>

FADE IN:

1. EXT. McLAREN's BAR. (2018) –NIGHT

**-2018-**

We see Barney walking towards the bar, where he is meant to be meeting the whole gang to catch up on their lives. Suddenly, a very familiar woman walks past him. She is looking inside her purse, not paying attention to anything.

BARNEY

Robin? Is that you?

Robin looks up.

ROBIN

Barney? Oh hey!

They embrace.

BARNEY

What are you... are you doing here?

ROBIN

I'm on a New York assignment.

BARNEY

(laughing) Whaat? Whoever heard of that!

Robin laughs.

ROBIN

I know right, it's one of those rare occasions when they actually let me stay on NY for a few days.

BARNEY

Hey, the gang are hanging out at McLarens tonight. You wanna come inside?

Robin hesitates.

ROBIN

Uhm, I'm not sure that's a good idea.

BARNEY

You kidding?

Robin simply looks at him.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

Robin you haven't seen them in over two years. (pointing at the bar) These are your friends back there!

ROBIN

I know, I just... I can't.

BARNEY

You can't?

Robin appears upset but does not respond.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

Are you telling me you can't even spare a few hours to be with the people you've known for years?!

ROBIN

Barney please, don't make this hard on me...

BARNEY

Hard on you? It's us who haven't seen you in so long it seems forever! Why can't you stop being selfish for at least a moment?!

Robin snaps.

ROBIN

I can't Barney! I just can't!

Barney goes still.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

How do you expect me to walk in on those guys (pointing at McLaren's) who have the things I never had?

Her voice breaks.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

How do you expect me to cope with the fact that they all have these beautiful children when I lost mine in what probably was my only chance ever?!

Barney sympathises with what she's saying.

BARNEY

Robin... I'm so sorry. You know I... You know I wanted that baby as much as you. But it's not too late for that! We can still settle down, we can-

ROBIN

Settle down!? Where, Moscow? Hong Kong? St. Petersburg? Madrid? A job like mine would never allow us to do that, Barney!

Barney snaps.

BARNEY

Just why do you always have to put your career in front of you?!

ROBIN

Because it is what I have always wanted!

BARNEY

That may have been true up until the moment you realised you couldn't have children, but then it changed after that, Robin! I saw you reading pregnancy books when you found out you were pregnant. I saw you looking at baby stuff. I saw how you were and trust me, that was not the reaction of a person who doesn't want to have children.

ROBIN

I guess I'm just not that person anymore.

BARNEY

(Shouting) No! No, no! That's not true! Why are you doing this?!

Robin breaks down.

ROBIN

Because I'm scared of trying again!

Barney falls silent.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

I'm scared that if we do try, and if it does happens again, I'll have to go through exactly the same thing. And I just... can't, Barney! I can't put myself through that again.

On Barney, whose face is overcome by painful memories, and apprehensiveness towards Robin.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

I can't watch our child die again.

Barney is still silent. He doesn't know how to respond to that.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

I can't do that.

There's a painful silence between the both of them as they remember that dark period of their lives.

ROBIN

Look, I better go. I have a meeting with my boss in a few hours and I better get ready.

Barney looks hurt.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

I'll see you around?

She walks off without waiting for a response. On Barney, who looks heartbroken.

He watches her walk away, clearly hurt at what she said and how she acted. A few seconds later, though, he shakes off his sadness and enters the bar wearing a mask of happiness.

2. INT. McLAREN'S BAR –NIGHT (LATER)

We see Lily, Ted and Barney hanging out inside the bar at the usual booth.

LILY

Marshall's almost here.

BARNEY

Yes! Look at us, hanging out again.

He embraces Ted. Ted looks uncomfortable.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

This is amazing, (shouting) This is awesome! This is... AHHHHH!

TED

Okay, settle down buddy.

BARNEY

No! (air quoting) Settling down is for losers with kids who never go out anymore. I am in charge tonight, and the earliest I am allowing anyone to go home is... 3 am!

Viewers will know all he wants to do is forget about his meeting with Robin, and this is the only way for him to do that.

FADE OUT.

3. INT. ROBIN'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM, (2030) -NIGHT (N1)

TED

Barney wanted to settle down?

ROBIN

Yep. He had wanted for a long time. One of the reasons we had problems when we were married is because he likes having a place to call home. We didn't have that back then.

TED

That's not possible, we saw him still picking up girls!

ROBIN

Did you, though?

4. INT. McLAREN'S BAR. (2018) –NIGHT

BARNEY

Stinson out.

Barney approaches the girl he had been speaking to before. We see Ted, Lily and Marshall looking at him. We can see him talking the girl into coming home with him, but we don't hear his voice. After a few seconds, they are walking towards the exit together.

LILY

I can't believe it. Only 30 seconds to get that girl.

TED

When will he learn.

LILY

(Pointing at Barney's bimbo) You mean when will _they_ learn.

On Barney. Before he walks out of the bar, he turns around and –

BARNEY

(He mouths) Score!

He turns around again and they both exit the bar.

5. EXT. OUTSIDE McLAREN'S BAR –(CONTINUOUS)

BIMBO

So how cute is this teacup pig you say?

BARNEY

Look... (trying to remember her name) hot girl. I'm sorry about this. I'm just a guy who has just been rejected by the woman he loves and was trying show to his friends that he doesn't care. But he's never gonna stop caring.

BIMBO

Wait, so... we're not going back anywhere?

BARNEY

No, duh! I was just trying to prove another point.

Bimbo is angered and she slaps him.

Barney takes the slap without complaining.

Bimbo walks off. We see Barney nursing his cheek, but instead of being angry at the girl, he looks in the opposite direction, the direction Robin walked off in. His face reflects longing.

He sighs, composes himself again, and calls a cab.

6. INT. ROBIN'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM, (2030) –NIGHT (N1)

Ted has a hard time believing Robin.

TED

I can't believe this... Barney had actually changed?

Robin nods.

ROBIN

Trust me, I had a hard time believing that as well.

7. INT. BARNEY'S APARTMENT, JANUARY, (2019) –NIGHT

**-JANUARY 2019-**

Knock, Knock, Knock. Someone is knocking on Barney Stinson's house door. We see Barney open the door and - Robin Scherbatsky is standing just outside. She looks different yet at the same time she seems unchanged. Her hair is shorter and she is wearing a pale cream dress.

As a speechless Barney takes in the whole sight of her, we see Robin look miserably at him.

ROBIN

Hey

BARNEY

Hi

ROBIN

Is it... a good time to come in?

Barney looks back at his apartment.

BARNEY

Erm, sure, come in.

He steps aside to let Robin in.

ROBIN

Are you sure?

BARNEY

Yeah?

ROBIN

I don't want to interrupt anything.

Barney sighs. He understands what she is referring to.

BARNEY

I'm not with anyone, Robin.

Robin comes inside.

ROBIN

I wouldn't... blame you if you were, you know.

BARNEY

I stopped picking up girls about a year ago.

ROBIN

You what?

BARNEY

Why are you so surprised?

ROBIN

Because... you're Barney Stinson! Creator of the playbook!

BARNEY

That was me. About 7 years ago. Now I only write the plays, I don't actually play them out.

ROBIN

Wait, you still write plays?

BARNEY

Sure, they're a huge success.

He walks over to the kitchen counter and takes a book. Robin follows him a few paces behind.

BARNEY

Here (handing the book to Robin) Take a look.

Robin takes the book in her hands. The viewers will recognise its familiar features.

INSERT – THE PLAYBOOK II.  
>ELECTRIC BANG-A-LOO.<p>

ROBIN

They Playbook II? Barney, I thought you were done with stuff like this!

BARNEY

That one is an international bestseller, for the urban gentleman, not for me. I don't use the playbook anymore.

ROBIN

You don't?

BARNEY

No. As much as I loved it, it always made me feel...broken. The whole thing made me feel empty. That's why I stopped picking up girls.

ROBIN

You what again?

BARNEY

I'm too old for that stuff, Robin!

Robin squints her eyes. Something about this sounds fishy.

ROBIN

I don't believe you. You can't have gone without sex for an entire year.

BARNEY

Oh no, I have been with girls. But they've been my... dates. I really am trying.

Robin is gobsmacked by what he is saying.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

Now, are you going to tell me what you're doing here or what?

Robin sighs. She doesn't know where to start, so she walks over to the couch and sits down. Barney follows her lead and sits next to her.

ROBIN

Barney, I can't do this anymore.

She stops and stares at him, pleading him to know what she means.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

I can't pretend that I love every aspect of my career any longer. You were right, it's not what I have always wanted and... it's driving me insane.

At this point, Barney is hesitant.

BARNEY

Robin... are you saying what I think you're saying?

Robin looks at him. Her face tells everyone the answer.

8. INT. COFEE SHOP. MARCH, (2019) –DAY

**-MARCH 2019-**

We see Barney and a strange, plump, unattractive woman seating opposite each other. Robin comes in seconds later.

ROBIN

(To Barney) Hey, I got your call. What's up?

Barney and the strange woman stand up.

BARNEY

Robin, this is Lindsey Knightley.

He pauses and delivers his final piece of news:

BARNEY (CONT'D)

And she's agreed to be our surrogate mother.

On Robin. She is in absolute shock. Lindsey smiles.

LINDSEY

It's nice to meet you.

Robin is speechless, but she smiles back.

9. INT. BARNEY'S APARTMENT. APRIL, (2019) -DAY

**-APRIL 2019-**

Barney and Robin are in the living room at Barney's apartment. Both of them are drinking scotch and watching TV. Suddenly, Barney's phone rings. He picks up.

BARNEY

(Into phone) Stinson speaking. Aha, okay, yeah...

He stands and walks to his bedroom. Robin is left alone in the living room. Barney comes back a few seconds later. He hangs up the phone.

ROBIN

Who was that?

BARNEY

That was the fertility clinic.

Robin is silent.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

Lindsey's pregnant.

Robin's face reflects shock, surprise, happiness and finally incredulity all in the space of a second. She wells up, covers her mouth with her hand.

ROBIN

Really?

Barney smiles, he seems genuinely happy.

BARNEY

Really.

Robin can't believe this.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

Robin Scherbatsky, are you ready to be a mom, again?

Robin rushes to his side and hugs him. Seconds later she pulls away and looks at Barney in his eyes.

ROBIN

I am.

She smiles, and then laughs. Barney laughs with her, and then they kiss.

They are bliss.

BLACK OUT.

END OF ACT 5


	8. ACT 6

**A/N "Pre-lap" means the characters start speaking before the next scene starts. **

* * *

><p><span>ACT 6<span>

FADE IN:

1. INT. BARNEY'S APARTMENT. BEDROOM, MAY (2019)-NIGHT

-**MAY 2019-**

We see Barney and Robin seating up, like an old married couple, on Barney's bed. Robin is holding a baby magazine, Barney his phone, but none of them seem to be paying any attention to their respective objects. They are arguing about something.

BARNEY

(Looking at his phone) Okay, how about the 28th of May? Ted said he'd be free by then.

ROBIN

(Shaking her head) Uh-uh.

He looks back down at the calendar in his phone.

BARNEY

The... 3rd of July?

ROBIN

Nope.

BARNEY

The 21st of August?

ROBIN

No!

BARNEY

Well Robin you gotta let me tell them sometime!

ROBIN

Okay, I know this is probably gonna sound crazy, but what if... we don't?

BARNEY

We don't?

ROBIN

I know, greatest idea ever! Right? Right?

BARNEY

No! We can't do that. They're our friends!

ROBIN

Damnit, I was hoping you'd be less emotionally attached to them.

Barney seems confused.

BARNEY

You're not?

Robin sighs.

ROBIN

I am, but... I'm afraid. I haven't seen them in so long that I think they'll hold it against me and... be angry at me rather than happy for us.

BARNEY

Robin, they're going to be so happy for us!

She sighs.

ROBIN

I know. But I still don't want to tell them. At least for now. Please?

BARNEY

Okay... but, you have to let me say _something._

ROBIN

You really want to tell them?

BARNEY

Of course I do! I'm going to be a daddy! I _gotta_ tell someone!

Robin laughs and shakes her head a little.

ROBIN

You're an idiot.

BARNEY

A very much in love idiot.

Robin smiles again.

ROBIN

Okay, how about you tell them you're going to have a baby, but you don't tell them who with?

BARNEY

And keep the identity of the mother a mystery which would involve tirelessly lying to them for an extended period of time?! That's... fine.

She smiles.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

But what should I tell them? (Thoughtful) Is the whole Virgin Mary idea too played out?

ROBIN

Virgin Mary?

BARNEY

Yeah you know, when you dress up as Virgin Mary and pretend that you have conceived without actually having sex?

On Robin's WTF face.

ROBIN

Barney!

BARNEY

Yeah, you're right. It would be too hard to find a costume my size.

ROBIN

(Sarcastically) Your size? Since when are you a woman, _and _a virgin?

BARNEY

Yeah, there's that too.

ROBIN

Oh, I know what you can do! What if you use your new Playbook?

BARNEY

The Playbook II?

ROBIN

Yes! Okay so, do you remember when back in 2010 you had a perfect week?

BARNEY

Seven girls in seven nights? (Thinking back) Hell yeaaah.

Robin squints her eyes, but moves past that.

ROBIN

Well, what if this time you say you had...

2. INT. ROBOTS VS WRESTLERS ARENA. –NIGHT (N3)

**-A week later-**

BARNEY

...A perfect month!

Marshall, Lily, Ted and Tracy all cringe.

_3. __INT. McLARENS BAR –NIGHT (FLASHBACK)_

_Barney is sitting in the usual booth holding open THE PLAYBOOK II. _

BARNEY (V.O)

I put together a brand new Playbook

LILY (pre-lap)

Nooo

4. INT. ROBOTS VS WRESTLERS STADIUM. –NIGHT (N3)

LILY

I can't hear this. This is just too sad.

BARNEY

But I haven't gotten to the sad part yet.

LILY

You're in your forties and you have a Playbook. That's the sad part.

Everyone else nods.

BARNEY

Lily! Just... Okay?!

Lily sighs.

BARNEY

So I put together a brand new Playbook, filled with plays I'd never tried before. Like-

INSERT- PLAYBOOK PAGE:

THE MANNEQUIN.

BARNEY (V.O)

The mannequin!

5. EXT. SPORTS CLOTHES SHOP -DAY

BARNEY (V.O)

Where, as in the 80's classics, I magically come to life... if you know what I mean.

We see a girl walking past a clothes shop, and Barney standing next to an actual mannequin, pretends to come to life.

INSERT- PLAYBOOK PAGE:  
>THE JIM NACHO.<p>

BARNEY (V.O)

The Jim Nacho!

6. INT. McLARENS BAR –NIGHT

BARNEY (V.O)

Where I wait till a girl mentions something she likes.

We see two girls eating nachos opposite each other, and Barney seating on the adjacent booth facing away from them.

GIRL #I

(With mouthful) God, I love nachos.

At this, Barney turns around and leans into the girls' booth.

BARNEY

(James Bond style) Thank you. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jim. Jim Nacho. Inventor, of the Nacho.

The girls look surprised but convinced by this.

TED (pre-lap)

So...

7. INT. ROBOTS VS WRESTLERS STADIUM –NIGHT (N3)

TED

Did you get a perfect month?

Barney looks miserable.

BARNEY

Yes.

MARSHALL

Then why are you so upset?

BARNEY

That last girl, number 31...

TRACY

Oh that's a pretty name, what is that, French?

BARNEY

She's pregnant.

On everyone's shocked faces.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

8. INT. BARNEY'S APARTMENT –NIGHT (LATER)

We see Barney, he's just come in the front door. Robin, who was waiting for him on the couch, stands up.

ROBIN

So? Did it work?

BARNEY

Yeah.

He smiles.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

It did. They even didn't ask for the identity of the mother.

ROBIN

So my name is now "Number 31"?

BARNEY

I guess it is.

Robin thinks this over.

ROBIN

Hmm, I think I'll be okay with that, _Swarley_.

BARNEY

Aw come on! Just drop that already!

Both of them walk towards each other, laughing, and when they're close enough, they kiss.

9. EXT. NY STREET, NEXT TO NEWSPAPERS STAND (2020) –DAY

**-2020-**

We see an image of the Goliath National Bank building.

TED (O.S)

Another fun fact about the Goliath National Bank building:

TED

The sleek but historical facade has been described by Architecture Vision Monthly as "Modern Classicism".

PENNY

(Nodding) I can see that.

TED

Um-hum. Any questions from the group?

ROBIN (O.S)

I have a question.

Robin appears from the side and walks towards Ted and Penny.

ROBIN

What happened to the building that used to be here? (pointing to the right) It was way nicer!

TED

Robin! Oh my god!

They embrace.

TED (CONT'D)

(Pulling apart) What are you doing here? I thought you were in...

ROBIN

Paris, erm Morocco, Moscow... Yeah, World Wide News keeps me pretty busy.

She chuckles.

TED

And, pretty famous. I mean, you're everywhere.

ROBIN

(High pitched voice) I am not everywhere!

A bus rides past them. It has a peculiar advertisement.

INSERT – THE WORLD with Robin Scherbatsky, next to a giant picture of Robin.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

Okay I am some places.

She turns and acknowledges Penny.

ROBIN

Hey Penny! (getting to her level) Oh my gosh, I haven't seen you in forever.

PENNY

I like you, bus lady.

ROBIN

Aw, I like you too never call me that again.

Penny laughs.

10. INT. BARNEY'S APARTMENT. LIVING ROOM/KITCHEN –DAY (LATER)

ROBIN

And that was it.

Barney and Robin are inside his apartment. She's on the couch, folding recently bought baby clothes. Barney is stocking his kitchen shelves with baby milk powder.

BARNEY

Did you ever tell him why you're in New York?

ROBIN

(Sarcastically) And tell him that I'm waiting for the woman we hired as our surrogate mother to pop out my baby? Oh yeah like that's the most normal thing to say to a friend you haven't seen in years!

Barney laughs.

BARNEY

That would sound so much nicer if you used the appropriate medical terms.

Robin chuckles.

ROBIN

I... I don't know, he was with Penny... and, it just didn't seem appropriate.

Barney walks over to her side.

BARNEY

What did you think of her?

ROBIN

Of whom?

BARNEY

Penny.

ROBIN

I don't know, shesgrownupalot why are you asking?

BARNEY

I'm just saying because soon enough you may have a girl like her.

Robin stops what she's doing and thinks this over.

ROBIN

You know, there's a 50% chance the baby will be a boy.

BARNEY

Oh come on! You still don't want to open the envelope?

Robin looks across the room. On the kitchen counter, inside a glass bottle, there's a small yellow envelope. Viewers will get the reference to Marshall and Lily's yellow card bearing the sex of their baby. It's the same situation here.

ROBIN

No. This time I want the surprise.

BARNEY

Okay well, it'll be your fault if I dress up your daughter in this suit because CHECK THIS OUUUTT!

He gets a piece of clothing from the pile of clothes Robin's been folding and shows it to her. It's a tiny, sparkly black and white penguin suit.

They both laugh.

11. INT. HOSPITAL, DELIVERY ROOM (2019) –DAY

**-A week later-**

We hear screams everywhere. Lindsey, Robin and Barney are ALL screaming. They are in the delivery room. We see Lindsey lying on the hospital bed, trying to push a baby out her. Barney and Robin are standing right next to her, both wearing blue gowns, watching as the whole scene takes place, holding each other's hand and screaming their heads off.

ROBIN

(shouting) I can't watch this any longer!

LINDSEY

(screaming) Shutupyourenottheone puuushiiiinggg!

BARNEY

(stops screaming for a moment) I think I'm going to throw up.

He makes the throwing up gesture but doesn't actually vomit.

BARNEY

I need some air...

LINDSEY

(sarcastically) You don't say!

DOCTOR

(To Lindsey) Just a few more pushes...

Lindsey goes back to pushing. Barney makes for the exit door.

At this, Robin freaks out.

ROBIN

Wait, you can't leave me here! This is the scariest place I've ever been in my life! I don't think I can handle seeing my baby come out someone else!

Lindsey gets fed up.

LINDSEY

(shouting) Okay you two: you either watch your child being born or get the hell out of this room and stop staring at my vagina!

Both Barney and Robin look at each other. A second later, they're both running for the exit door.

12. INT. HOSPITAL, HALLWAY

ROBIN

Wow. This is our child's first big moment in the world and we're missing it. (Sarcastically) We're going to be such great parents!

BARNEY

Tell me about it. Next thing you know our baby'll be drinking scotch with us.

ROBIN

Barney!

BARNEY

Aw hey, come on now. It's probably not even gonna remember!

Robin shoots him a look.

BARNEY

Listen, just take a deep breath and then go back in there. In the meantime I'll go tell the gang, and if anything happens just let me know.

ROBIN

The gang? You invited them here? Barney, I thought we agreed we wouldn't tell them anything until we were comfortable being parents!

BARNEY

Hey, it's okay! You don't have to see them if you're not ready, but they insisted on coming, so I gotta go say hello. I promise I won't tell them anything. Plus, I really do think I need to throw up.

Barney covers his mouth with his hand, trying to hold back. She sighs.

ROBIN

Okay, I'll let you know.

13. INT. HOSPITAL, WAITING ROOM –DAY (CONTINUOUS)

We see Marhsall, Lily and Ted all in the waiting room of the hospital. Barney then comes in, still wearing the blue gown. On seeing him, everyone else stands up.

TED

(To Barney) Well?

BARNEY

It was... crazy in there but... I threw up and now I feel better.

Everyone is confused.

MARSHALL

Where were you?

BARNEY

In the can. I knew I was going to hurl so I put this all over my suit.

He takes the gown off.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

Number 31 won't let me in the delivery room.

LILY

We're going to need a name eventually.

Barney tilts his head, expressing his "maybe never" response.

A NURSE comes in.

NURSE

Mr. Stinson

BARNEY

Yes?

NURSE

Congratulations!

BARNEY

Congratulations because the blood tests came back and I'm not the father!

He gets out a few cigars from his suit inner pockets.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

(throwing the cigars on the air) Happy Not a Father's day!

NURSE

No! Congratulations, it's a girl!

14. INT. ROBIN'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM –NIGHT (N1)

TED

(Shouting) Are you kidding me?!

ROBIN

Shh, I told you to keep your voice down!

TED

(whispered shout) You and Barney had a baby in the same hospital we were in that night, and didn't want us to know?!

ROBIN

(whispered shout) I'm sorry! I was freaking out! I told Barney I wanted us to be alone until we got the hang of the parenting thing and knowing you guys were there just made me very nervous!

Ted is in shock.

TED

I can't believe this. All these years... when I thought Barney should be ashamed of having a random bimbo as the mother of his child... when I thought- when I pitied Ellie because his parents were not together... all these years I was living a lie?!

Robin is once again ashamed, and embarrassed. Ted is visibly upset at this point.

TED

What did _actually_ happen inside that hospital nursery?

Robin looks at him.

15. INT. HOSPITAL, NURSERY (2020) –DAY

We see Barney enter the room after being forced by the gang to go meet his daughter. At the back of the room, there's a woman holding a baby in her arms. However, when she turns around, we see it's not the nurse. It's Robin.

Robin is holding the baby girl very delicately. When she sees Barney, she wells up.

ROBIN

She's so small...

When Barney sees the baby, he's gobsmacked. He walks up to the both of them, very slowly.

ROBIN

Wanna hold her?

Barney can't talk right now, so Robin passes him the baby. He takes her very awkwardly.

As the full reality of his baby daughter hits him, he breaks down.

Robin is crying.

ROBIN

I think... I think I like the name "Ellie".

Barney looks at her and then back at the baby.

BARNEY

Ellie...

Robin chuckles. Barney stands closer to her.

BARNEY

Girls, you are the love of my life. (To Ellie) Everything I have, (to Robin) and everything I am, it's yours.

Robin is touched, tears run down her cheek like it's no one's business. She kisses him. He then passes the baby back to her.

BARNEY

Robin? I've been thinking.

Robin looks up at him.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

Would you... wanna marry me, again?

Robin is shocked. She waits for him to tell her he's joking, but he doesn't. He stares at her in all seriousness.

ROBIN

Wait, for real?

He shrugs his shoulders. Robin thinks it over.

ROBIN

...No.

Barney's confused. Robin smiles at him.

ROBIN

No. I don't.

BARNEY

Are you-wait-I thought...

ROBIN

Barney, if there's one thing I learnt when we got back together, is that I hated having to divorce you. I stilled loved you, but I also needed my space and a divorce seemed reasonable at the time. But it made it all seem real, like we were shutting _and _locking the door on each other. Like there was no way for us to go back together. I hated that. So this time, let's not get married. We both hate commitment, but we both love each other, _and _Ellie, so please, let's just leave it like this.

She awaits for his response.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

What do you say?

BARNEY

I say, that it _is _possible to love you _even more_.

Barney embraces both his girls. He then plants a kiss on Ellie's forehead, and then one on Robin's lips.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT 6


	9. ACT 7

**Author's note: Dear readers, this is the last chapter I have written for this fic. I want to thank you for all your reviews, follows, favourites and silent reads. It's good to know people have liked it, and it's been a pleasure sharing this with all of you. Now, I understand that after this chapter there will be a lot of loose ends, however I just don't know if I should continue with it or not, so for the first time ever, I'm going to ask you to please let me know if you would want me to continue with this or if you think it's fine as it is! Depending on how many people say yes I'll work on a few more chapters (already in my mind since day 1) and the epilogue, or not. I do hope that with story you will have achieved some closure, though. I certainly did!**

**-A x**

* * *

><p><span>ACT 7<span>

1. INT. BARNEY'S APARTMENT, BEDROOM.(2020) –DAY

**Tuesday – Two weeks later**

Both Barney and Robin are in the bedroom. We see Robin feeding Ellie from a baby bottle, and Barney folding up clothes. Both their faces reflect tiredness, like they haven't slept in days. The room is a mess and there are baby items located everywhere. Suddenly, Robin's phone rings.

ROBIN

Ugh, Barney will you get my phone and tell me who's calling?

Barney stops what he's doing and drowsily looks around for her pone. When he finds it, he looks at the caller ID.

BARNEY

It says Tracy.

ROBIN

Again? Ugh, just press silent.

Barney presses the silent bottom and the rings stop.

BARNEY

What do you mean again?

ROBIN

She's been calling me all day. This is like the twentieth time.

BARNEY

What does she want? Wait, did you tell her about Ellie?

ROBIN

No! She wants me to go to Ted and Tracy's wedding.

BARNEY

What?!

ROBIN

How come you don't know this?

BARNEY

How come Ted hasn't called _me?_ I'm his best friend!

ROBIN

Well, he probably has, but with all this mess it's difficult to say where your phone is at.

Barney considers this. He then gets an idea and walks out of the bedroom. Seconds later, he comes back holding his phone.

BARNEY

What was my phone doing in the cleaning room?

ROBIN

I haven't slept in three days please don't ask me anything that isn't baby-related.

Barney shrugs his shoulders, agreeing with her. He looks down at his phone. Meanwhile, Ellie finishes eating so Robin puts her on her shoulder and pats her back.

BARNEY

Wow, ten missed calls from Ted. I guess I still am his best bro!

Robin rolls her eyes.

BARNEY

Hey, why don't you come?

ROBIN

Uhm, like, go stand over there?

BARNEY

No, to Ted and Tracy's.

ROBIN

Ted and Tracy's wedding? Are you crazy?

BARNEY

Why not? We could hire a baby-sitter, and it would be our first escape since becoming parents!

ROBIN

(holding the baby protectively) And leave Ellie with a stranger?!

BARNEY

She will be fine! And, we both need a break. When was the last time you had anything to drink that wasn't milk or orange juice? Besides, we all promised we would be there for the big moments. This is Ted's big moment now.

Robin has an internal debate with herself. Finally, she lets on.

ROBIN

You're right. I'll go, but! You have to promise we won't say anything about us being together, _or_ about us having a baby together. Deal?

BARNEY

Robin-

ROBIN

Please! I don't want to steal their thunder. Who would wanna do that, to their _best friend?_

Barney thinks about this.

BARNEY

Only if you promise we'll have lots of sex afterwards.

ROBIN

Deal!

2. INT. McLARENS BAR –DAY

**Thursday**

We see Lily, Marshall, Ted and Barney all seating at the usual booth in McLaren's. They all look excited except for Barney, who looks half-dead from lack of sleep.

LILY

I can't believe it! It's Ted Mosby's wedding day!

TED

Yes! After only seven years and two kids. Guys, am I rushing into this?

Barney suddenly collapses on the table.

TED

Whoa.

MARHSALL

Aw buddie, are you okay?

BARNEY

So tired. Baby no sleepy. Barney dying.

Lily laughs.

TED

Well we're staying until 3 am tonight!

BARNEY

(Whining) Nine forty five!

LILY

Seriously though, I am so proud of you. Now that you're a dad you're a totally different person-

BARNEY

(on seeing some chicks walk past) Whooaa!

LILY

Aand we're back.

Barney stands up and goes after the hot girls.

BARNEY

Hey.

GIRL #1

Hi

GIRL #2

Wanna join us for shots?

BARNEY

Shots? Before lunch on a Thursday? It's like you're trying to make bad decisions!

He takes the glasses of shots away from them.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

You young ladies need to go home, put on some decent clothes and take a good hard look at your lives.

The girls are confused by this.

BARNEY

(pointing at the exit)

Get!

The girls start walking out.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

Call your parents, they're probably worried sick.

LILY

I have officially seen everything.

MARSHALL

Not everything.

He looks at the door. When Lily follows his sight, we see Robin wearing a blue dress, entering the bar.

The rest of the gang stand up to greet her.

ROBIN

Hey

TED

Hi

On Lily's teary face.

ROBIN

I.. I know I've... missed a couple lately, but... (to Lily) we said we'd always be there for the big moments.

Lily wells up. She's the first one to hug Robin.

LILY

Aw, crap! Mascara running. Nobody let her out of your sight.

When they pull apart, Lily runs to the rest room.

Robin turns around and sees Barney.

ROBIN

Hey daddy!

BARNEY

Whoa, look Robin, I'm really happy to see you but I don't think of you that way anymore.

ROBIN

No, they told me, (she hits him with her purse) you had a kid. Congrats.

BARNEY

Right, yeah, thanks. A kid. I'm tired.

ROBIN

(laughing) Oh

BARNEY (CONT'D)

But uh, she's awesome.

ROBIN

Yeah?

BARNEY

Yeah. Daddy's home.

At this, Robin wells up. She's touched by the way he speaks about their own daughter, and frustrated that they can't share this with anyone. So she hugs him.

When they pull away, Robin turns around once again and greets Marshall.

ROBIN

(bowing) Judge Fudge.

MARSHALL

Heey

They hug.

MARSHALL

Actually, little announcement for everybody, I'm going to be running for state supreme court so if everything goes well in a couple of months you won't be calling me Judge Fudge anymore.

He laughs and rolls his eyes.

MARHSALL

(Deadly serious) You'll be calling me Fudge Supreme.

They all laugh. Barney walks over and high-fives him. Robin sees Ted, and approaches him.

ROBIN

The man of the hour

TED

You RSVP'd no.

ROBIN

I did. But... someone pretty persuasive talked me into it.

She turns to the door, and we see Tracy, wearing her wedding dress, standing on the entrance of the bar.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

3. INT. CHURCH CHAPEL –DAY (LATER)

We see the gang, plus Tracy and the reverend, all standing up, close together. Ted and Tracy are saying their vows. Slowly focus on everyone's faces.

Ted and Tracy stare lovingly into each other's eyes. Marshall and Lily look at the happy couple, and then at each other, overwhelmed by happiness. Finally, Barney looks at Robin knowingly. He's very happy that he finally convinced her to come here, and also excited about sharing this secret about their newborn baby together. Robin looks back at him, thankful for sticking with her through the tough and difficult times.

When Ted and Tracy say "I do", they kiss, and everyone else hugs each other.

After a while, when the rest of the gang are talking with each other, Robin comes over to Barney and they get talking.

BARNEY

Hey!

ROBIN

Hi

BARNEY

(hyperactive) Now isn't this awesome! We're finally getting some time away from Ellie, Ted and Tracy are married... This is awesome! This is great! This is-

ROBIN

Do you wanna go back now?

BARNEY

I thought you would never ask.

Robin laughs.

ROBIN

Do you miss her?

BARNEY

Like I've never missed anyone else in my entire life. And I thought I would enjoy drinking alcohol again, but somehow nothing tastes well without the loud screams of a baby ringing in my ears.

Robin laughs again, she can sympathise with this.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

Do you?

ROBIN

Are you kidding? I've had to pick up my purse again and hold it tightly against my chest because it reminded me of Ellie.

Barney laughs at this.

ROBIN

So, Daddy's home, huh?

BARNEY

Yes. He is. And! I've actually got someone to say "who's your daddy?" to without sounding like a pervert because am I actually her daddy!

Robin hits him with her purse again, this time harder. They both laugh.

BARNEY

Shall we go let them know we're leaving?

ROBIN

Yeah.

Barney starts to walk away.

ROBIN

Oh and Barney?

BARNEY

Yeah?

ROBIN

Please promise me this will be the last party we'll go to in a long time?

Barney smiles.

BARNEY

I promise.

4. INT. HOTEL ROOM, PARIS (2021) –DAY

**A few months later...**

We see Barney and Robin on the bed of a hotel room. They're both dressed as if for a night party. Robin's hair is dishevelled. Barney is missing his tie.

Barney slowly sits up on the bed. He is extremely hung over.

BARNEY

I am never going to a French party again.

Robin imitates him and we can see she's just as hung over as him.

ROBIN

I don't think I've ever drank so much champagne in my life.

BARNEY

Can we agree that we're going to stay in bed for the rest of the day?

Robin lies back down on the bed.

ROBIN

(drowsily) Um-hum...

Barney is about to lie back when all of a sudden we hear a baby crying.

BARNEY

Every time!

Robin grunts.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

Shall I get her?

ROBIN

Nah, I got her.

Robin gets out of the bed and walks to the other side of the room. We then see a crying baby, of about 10 months old, wearing pink pyjamas inside a white retro crib. Robin approaches her and takes the baby in her arms.

ROBIN

Hey Ellie... aw, come here honey.

Ellie stops crying.

ROBIN (CONT'D)

You wanna come say hi to Daddy?

Robin walks over to Barney and then puts Ellie on the bed next to him.

BARNEY

(To Ellie) Hey princess

He kisses her cheek.

BARNEY (CONT'D)

You ever gonna let us have a late morning?

Robin smiles. She can't believe she has everything that she has always wanted in life, and more.

2030 ROBIN (VOICE OVER)

And Ted, that's the story of how Barney and I had Ellie.

BLACK OUT.

END OF ACT 7


End file.
